It seems surreal that my husband has been home a combined total of about 6 weeks this year. Two and a half years later, the shooting seems like it's becoming a distant memory, but the medical trauma? The surgeries? The pain. The loneliness. The nights apart? It's all still so real...and as far as we are aware, there is no end in sight.
The doctors have tried many methods to heal the leak in his bowel that came after his most recent surgery. It just hasn't happened, yet. I include the word "yet" because we have to continue to believe it. We will continue to pray for it. They will continue their attempts to heal it.
Chris and I have recognized a "gift" recently that we wanted to share with those following this journey. It's not a gift that can be unwrapped, or tied up in a pretty bow. It's a gift formed in the furnace of affliction. This gift is the comfort of being present with each other, day by day. It's not always like this, there is medication and stress that interfere with our true personalities most of the time - but today, it's sweet. It's real. It's right now. If you're a caretaker, you know this feeling. It's the gleam in an Alzheimer patients eye when you see a glimpse of them inside the fog, or when a child with autism makes eye contact...it's exhilarating to connect with someone on that level when you haven't been able to for so long.
The depth of our relationship is magnificent, and we both gain comfort and strength from holding hands and looking forward together regardless of what the mystery of this medical trauma holds for us this Fall...
We ask for your continued prayers as Jesus navigates this boat in these unknown waters just a little longer.
With love,
Jamie Lynn Sparkman
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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